It’s kind of pathetic that I have been engaged twice, married/divorced once and never proposed to!

My ex-husband and I went to “look” at rings and ended up putting one on layaway. Before he had to make the first payment, my mother went and paid it off. He gave it to me by handing me the box and saying, “Here’s your ring.” Romantic, heh? (Yes, I know! Here’s your sign!) The ex-girlfriend “asked” me to marry her by writing it in a card and handing me the ring.

I never got the “down on one knee…professing love….asking for an eternal commitment”.

Until now!

Ash and I had talked about applying for our domestic partnership before the baby is born and getting engaged – eventually. We can’t legally marry in our state of residence, so it would be more of a commitment ceremony with one hell of a party to follow! But we were going to wait because of the baby. At least, that’s what I THOUGHT!

This past Saturday was our tenth month anniversary. We typically go out to dinner and a movie. We had time to kill before dinner, so we bummed around the mall and stopped in to look at rings at a jewelry store (just as we have done many times before).  Then she took me to The Melting Pot (one of our favorite special occasion restaurants) and then she took me to the scene of our first date ( a local park, sitting on a blanket and talking for hours….until a police officer showed up to kindly inform us it was way past park hours and we should get on our way. Fun times!)

As we were walking to “our spot”, she pulled some Mentos and orange Tic Tacs out of her pocket (just like she did on our first date!) We sat on the hill and talked, watching the Frisbee golfers whip Frisbees right over our heads!

Ash started asking me a bunch of questions regarding my happiness, how I felt about her, if I was in it for the long haul, etc. Now, I have to say, we have talks like this often. We are always having discussions about what we like about our relationship, what needs work, what’s working and what we need to “fix”. As a matter of fact, nearly every night we do our “High, low and love” statements. We share the high and low points of our days and tell the other one reason we love them. It’s our little ritual.

Therefore, I’m not completely out of it to STILL not realize something was going on!

Suddenly, she got up from beside me and started moving. I looked at her and said, “Where are you going?”

Before I knew it, she was kneeling on one knee in front of me and pulling a box out of her pocket. She started asking me if I would spend the rest of my life with her and I had my eyes on hers before she even opened the box!

“How did you pull this off? When did you do this?? I thought we were going to wait! How did you manage this??” (I am NOT an easy person to surprise!)

She looked at me and said, “Why don’t you answer MY question first?” Which, of course, I said yes to!

Therefore, it’s official!  We’re engaged!

I have to say, we looked at many rings over the course of the last few months and I had no say in the one she picked out.  She did this one all on her own and I am absolutely in love with it!

And let me try to head off some of the questions you may have:

1.) There is no date set.  We are focusing on preparing for the baby right now.  By best guestimation, we’re looking at 2012.

2.) Ash wants the whole sha-bang.  The ceremony and a big reception.  I want her to have what she wants.  I already had my big wedding.  This one is all her.

3.) We will still file for our domestic partnership before the baby is born.  It gives us a bit of legal protection/rights/etc.

4.) We will not be going to a state or country that “allows” us to marry.  Our state can prosecute anyone who engages in a legal marriage they do not sanction and while it is NEVER done, we would be the exception that someone would want to make an example of.  Besides, we don’t need a legal piece of paper telling us we’re married.  The baby more than solidifies us as a family!

Anything I left out?  Ask away!

Here I am, newly engaged! I think my smile says it all!

“Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.”
-Michael Leunig

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