This post is a submission for the Love Makes A Family Blog Carnival. Today we’re talking secrets, folks!
Big, scary, nasty mommy secrets!
The theme is secrets, but not the painful bad kind. What is your deep dark parenting secret, the one you don’t really mention in public. Do you give your three year old a bottle? Do you bribe your kid to cooperate? Do you breast feed your preschooler? Is ice cream a regular on your breakfast menu? Spill your secrets to the world, I bet you’re not actually alone.
Hmm, parenting secrets. I don’t really think I have any! The bulk of this blog, especially the last year, has dealt with parenting. How we handle each kid, what parenting ideals we adhere to and essentially the way we choose to raise our children.
I used to be edgier as a parent. I would let the kids have cake or brownies for breakfast if we made them. Especially Em. She’s gluten free and I think she should be able to eat what she can when she can, no matter which “meal” it is. Ash and I agreed not to do this anymore, so it’s no longer a “secret”.
But, if I must spill secrets….
1.) I always send Em back to EH in crappy clothes. Things that are stained, pants that are beginning to fit a bit snugly or just something I don’t care for. I will actually BUY something I don’t like, on clearance, JUST as a “drop her off” outfit. If we’re not going to be home before we leave to drop her off, I’ll bring a change of clothes to change her into. This way, if I don’t get it back, I don’t care. I’m sure he does the same thing. If not, whoever dresses her has horrible taste in clothing.
2.) I’m more lenient with Bubba than the girls. The truth is, I’m only partially responsible for him and I’m not going to spend the time I have being the strict parent. I don’t get to see him NEARLY enough and I’m not going to spend our time together reprimanding him, grounding him or lecturing him.
Ironically, because of this, he is ridiculously well behaved. I rarely have to speak to him about his behavior, choices he makes or helping out. I treat him like the young adult he is and he acts like a young adult. He pitches in without being asked, he helps out with his younger sisters and he’s a great kid.
And if he does start to get off track, I simply say something to him, he plays it off by telling me he loves me and giving me a hug, but he gets back on track.
Don’t get me wrong, his room is usually nowhere near as well kept as I would like and his grades leave quite a bit to be desired. He’s getting better about his room and he knows where I stand regarding his grades. However, being the non-custodial parent, school isn’t my responsibility. He was a straight A student the ten years I had primary custody of him. His grades only began to suffer once his custody was changed.
He knows where I stand and he respects what is expected of him in our home. But he does get away with more than he would if our home was his primary residence.
3.) I would probably be one of those “crazy” extended breastfeeding moms if Ash let me (and Bug chose to do so.) I think a child should chose when they’re finished breastfeeding and, to my knowledge, none of them have gone off to college on the breast!
4.) We’ve become increasingly more dependent on disposable diapers. We really need to get back to cloth diapering. I miss it.
5.) Being gluten free, there are certain things Em can’t have. I will hide those things away and put her to bed before pulling them out, instead of eating whatever snack she’s having.
6.) We’re raising Bug in a pretty non-gender specific manner. She has “boy” toys and “girl” toys. In a few years, when she’s potty training, she can choose to wear “girl” undies or “boy” undies. We don’t limit her choices or what we expose her to based on her gender.
7.) My daughter spends every nap in my arms. Always. She doesn’t get put down. I hold her. And at night? She sleeps in bed cuddled close.
Wow, I guess I am a pretty boring parent when it comes to secrets!