My irritation over the Jennifer Schreiner and Angela Bauer case isn’t a result of their unfit parenting. It isn’t about my anger over losing custody of my children (when I am a damn good parent) while people like this just keep collecting children into their unstable lives.

My irritation is over one fact and one fact alone, same sex marriage.

Now, I will be the first to tell you that I NEVER wanted to be married again. Ever. When you experience the (heterosexual) “marriage” and divorce I did, I can hardly be blamed!

It’s one thing to get back on the bike after you fall off, it is another to go running back into a burning building.

This is where I benefited as a lesbian. I was determined to never marry again and, well, same sex marriage isn’t legal so it was a win-win in my book!

As I often do, I change my mind! I want to be married. Legally. Completely. Wholey.

I’m not going to tell you falling in love with Ash changed my mind, because it wasn’t that simple. Even through our engagement and early wedding plans, it didn’t bother me that it wouldn’t be legal.

But now? Now I’m bothered. I’m irritated. Actually, I’m mad as hell. Aside from the lack of one piece of “equipment”, my marriage is no different than Sally and Joe down the way.

We balance jobs, kids, friends, family, bills and responsibilities. We pay our taxes, we raise our daughter and we walk our dog. We date, we take our kid to dance class and we enjoy summer nights at the drive-in.

Even with a domestic partnership, our “equalities” fall short. The fee for our partnership was the same as a heterosexual marriage license, but we can’t even change one of our last names! Seriously?

But you know the biggest benefit we get screwed out of?

Protecting our family.

My daughter isn’t as protected as Sally and Joe’s. I have to rely on our state to provide her with health care because my wife’s company doesn’t have to cover me or the child we planned and conceived together (even if we did have a bit of help.)

I love my wife just as fiercely as any straight spouse does (probably more because she’s just that awesome) so why can’t we marry?

No. Really. Answer me.

Why can’t I marry my wife?

Angela Bauer and Jennifer Schneider wouldn’t be in the national spotlight if they had been a legally married and later divorced heterosexual couple.

So while everyone is screaming about the need to update reproductive laws and procedures, here’s a novel idea….legalize same sex marriage. Let all us homosexual couples delight in the legal joys, comfort and responsibilities of heterosexual marriage and divorce.

I’m pretty sure we are just as capable of respecting marriage as all the happily married and divorced heteros who came before us!

I mean, legal same sex marriage can’t be a more complicated mess than not allowing gays to marry, could it?